Awake
by Samantha Strait
Summary: One-Shot Songfic using Josh Groban's song 'Awake'. Describes New Moon from Bella and Edward's perspectives alternately. Read and review:D


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_**I am a huge fan of Josh Groban and recently downloaded one of the bonus tracks from his recent CD. The song is called 'Awake.' It reminded me so much of New Moon--I knew I had to write a short one-shot songfic using it. I know the story might be kind of cheesy, but I felt it and I hope you will, too. To make it more powerful, listen to the song as you read (as found on YouTube here--paste the following addendum on to YouTube's web address: /watch?vz5RXwhlCLOE) **_

_**TWILIGHT IS STEPHENIE MEYER'S AND 'AWAKE' IS JOSH GROBAN'S! DON'T SUE...  
**_

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_Song lyrics_--Bella's thoughts--**Edward's thoughts**

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_A beautiful and blinding morning_

_The world outside begins to breathe_

**My one and only love is in my arms. She trustingly wraps herself around my freezing granite body in her sleep. How can she trust someone who can kill her with a twitch of his finger? How can she want to be like us? She can't. She is obviously incapable of making this choice herself. For her safety, I have to make it for her. I have to do this. There is no choice. Her purity and goodness cannot be tainted by this evil…by me. This family will destroy her in more ways than one. She deserves a normal human life. We have to give her that chance. We have to leave.**

_See clouds arriving without warning_

He's being so distant…so cold. This is not my Edward. Something is wrong.

_I need you here to shelter me_

I can't live without him. Why is he acting this way? If this is about my stupid birthday party…

_And I know that only time will tell us how_

_To carry on without each other_

**I don't know how I'll be able to leave. She is my life now. How can I leave this new, bright life behind? An eternity…no, a lifetime of this ache is going to kill me. Her life will be short, so mine will be blissfully abbreviated when hers ends.**

_So keep me awake to memorize you_

_Give me more time to feel this way_

I have to stay awake. Somehow, I know this time we have together will be short.

_We can't stay like this forever_

Each new day takes me away from where I want to be the most. The sunrise takes me out of the arms of my angel, even if they are stiff and figuratively cold now.

_But I can have you next to me today_

**These moments are so precious to me. Holding her like this, loving her though she feels this distance, will be the epitome of my miserable existence. They are etched on my unchangeable memory for the rest of my…life.**

_If I could make these moments endless_

_If I could stop the winds of change_

_If we just keep our eyes wide open_

_Then everything would stay the same_

**I can't do this any longer. Everything is ready. It's time to go, no matter how loath I am to do so. I have no choice. Farewell, my sweet love. Bella, live as you were meant to from the start. Forget me quickly, as I know your human mind will. Be safe.**

_And I know that only time will tell me how_

_We'll carry on without each other_

How am I going to live without him? He never wanted me…I built the whole rest of my existence around him. Well, I should have expected this. He is **so** much more than someone like me deserves. Please, be happy, my only love. Forget me, replace me with your distractions…leave me to try to survive with this throbbing hole in my chest where you used to be.

October…December…February…March

_So keep me awake for every moment_

Numb…pain…will normal ever be possible again? How can I live without him?

_Give us more time to be this way_

Please, God, let me get to him in time. He can't die because of me! Edward can't be gone because of an insignificant distraction. Please, God, let me get to him in time!

_We can't stay like this forever_

I know you'll leave me again soon…I don't care. I'm finally whole again. Hold me while we're together, even if it's a short time. I love you.

_But I can have you next to me today_

**My Bella is here! She's in my arms again! Am I dreaming? After seven months of nothingness, I am whole once more. Bella is here when I thought I'd never see her angel's face again. My love, I thought you were dead and gone. No matter what, I will **never** leave your side again. I am not strong enough. **

_We'll let tomorrow wait, you're here, right now, with me_

We're together again. He doesn't love me, but he's here. That's all that can matter right now: he's alive! Thank you, God, for saving this angel beside me.

_All my fears just fall away, when you are all I see_

**My worries seem so stupid now! Leaving her clearly was the worst thing I could have done to her. How can she ever forgive me? If it is the last thing I do, I will prove to her the depth of my sorrow at her pain. She **will **know how I feel.**

_We can't stay like this forever_

Is he really here? His beautiful face is in front of me again. He's alive. Too bad I'm not…he'll leave again soon. I can't let myself get attached again. I have to let him go. Oh, well. I'll be with him while he's still distracted by me. When he leaves, I'll have to be strong enough to let him go. It's what he wants.

_But I have you here today_

**Can she forgive me? I pray to whatever entity that made this glorious creature that she will. No matter what, I will never be so far from her again. She is essential to me, as it seems I am to her. I must stay to protect her.**

_And I will remember_

**Does she love me? How could she? Miracle of miracles, she still wants me! How to make her see that she is everything to me…**

_Oh I will remember_

He loves me? Oh! He loves me! Edward Cullen loves me!

_Remember all the love we shared today_

We will be together forever. I **won't** be parted from him ever again. Thank you, God, for bringing this angel back into my life.

**I'll never leave her again. I'll spend every day proving my love. Thank you, God, for bringing this angel back into my life.**

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_**So...if you liked it or hated it, please leave me a review. It's my first one-shot and my first songfic, so I would LOVE some feedback on it. If you all liked it, there is a possibility of more of this type of one-shot in the future because I loved writing it. So, leave me a review if you liked it and want to see more...or if you hated it and want me to stop:D Thanks for reading either way! Samantha**_

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